The MindFault

KNIGHT
M’s always insticating on something or the other.I did’nt ask anyone to laugh or call it a joke.

N
its preety late you should have told this earlier.
and make ur self clear is it a joke or not????

KNIGHT
OKEY DOKEY.I will do that.

And M is a suicidal depressed kid.

PSP
Hey! BNy the way were you by any chance ragged by ur seniors at your university or at ur hostel?

N
sure he must have got ragged no doubt

KNIGHT
DUH!!, I was ragged alright,HAPPY NOW!!!.
It was weird cause they asked me to walk on tiptoes and flap my hands as if they were wings.I had a good dose that day.
But listen to this the worst was to this guy ,he was asked to sing “Summer of 69″.(Bryan Adams)
He first said he didnt know much of it.But these guys were so intent on ragging the guy that they preprepared the lyrics and gave it to him.
Cant forget it ,it was so funny.makes me laugh jus remembering his voice and the tune he sung.

N
in my collg they askes a us return guy to sing baba blacksheep in tamil and gave the tamil translation for it

M
that’s typical of your college. my college seniors are lame. we got so bored of their ragging that they stopped on their own within a week. the 3rd and 4th years are ok.

N
one guy of the 3rd year asked me to prove 1=-1 or he said that he would hit me
(this guy is 5 feet 5 inches,59 kgs no facial hair,combs his hair with 2 liters of oil every day)The problem is that i am 6 feet 1 inch 108 kgs king kong and cant even spell mats properly

So all i did was fall on him by mistake and from then he has never spoken to me

N
u r rite a second year girl tried to ragg me and i inturn started ragging her
so she called all the boys of the class to ragg me and i claimed to pay kabaddi for state and dat was the end of the matter

V
ah posting here after a long time…

i didnt get ragged much in college…i was only interogated a bit and the seniors werent that harsh…

well the girls were bad. i felt like ripping their breasts of and stuffing them up their arse.

X
we had our freshers party last week , and boy was there some ragging there. and guess what all the teachers were there and they did’nt even try to stop the seniors
And the advice us to report all ragging to them. hrumph!

but it was’nt any serious ragging it was just things like going up to a teacher and saluting them, sing a song ,dance ……….. and this one guy from my class had to swim on the floor.

And finally we ended the party with a massive food fight with people pretending samosas were grenades by biting on them and then throwing them…… dunno.gif and globs of icecream flying every where . I really pity the cleaning people.

N
we have the party next week ill get a full report on dat

M
i’m gonna buy a whole load of make up and go to college like a suicidal depressed goth kid. you know, unfocussed eyes, poems about death and pain and horrors in your backpack, a pen knife with congealed blood on your keychain, hair unkept.

that will ensure the seniors never come near you until they graduate.

C
Ummm M, save the money.I’m sure you’d look that way anyhow.

N
M dont do dat then ull have to write all their poems and letters and hair unkept will add to the ragging

KNIGHT
I do agree .M talks in a very HOLLOW VOICE.Pretty enough to scare the Raggies away.Plus or they would make him write self- poems about himself.
HAHAHAHAHAHAH

M
(damn got me there chetan.)

Dear Members,

If anyone found the above post even remotely funny, please write to m@yahoo.com and you will receive a free book titled ‘How to Recognize Humour’.

X
But you have to agree that

1) your hair is almost always unkept except when its not in some weird new hair do your trying out.

2) You write poems (it does’nt matter if its not about pain and death)

3) Most of the time your eyes are red (due to contacts but who cares)

4) you wear black t-shirts a lot with weird designs of blood and skulls.

So i think all these reasons qualify you for the suicidal depressed goth kid award.

N
Hey M were u ragged ???
or are u the suicidal depressed goth kid ??

KNIGHT
Guys since we stand at the threshold of collegedom(dumb).Plan your moves in advance and share it with Your Alternation members cause ” Its a WHOLE NEW WORLD”

N
it depends upon who is ragging u firstly boy or girl then the size of the boy the way he talks u know……….
a smaller fellow i wuld just call some guys n ask them to wack the small guy if the guy is big then i wuld make friends and just accept it
but dats not possible cause its hard to find a guy bigger than me in chennai

V
i am 6feet 3 inches and i am pretty strong and i dont shave much,..

that gives me a “bhai” look…so i will be pretty much safe.

KNIGHT
It wouldnt probably be a boy because the rag ratio is 99:1.I stand 5feet 10inches.Fine suppose the guy or in your case gal asks to perform an idiotic or embarassing feat what would be your immediate drastic action measure.Bashin up is entirely different but to alternation members it is to use BRAINVITA

V
i think the best option is to walk in straight with your chest up high and act as thought you visit the palce everyday…

and ignore the seniors

dont look scared.

give a “i want to kill someone” look

walk straight and dont look around

KNIGHT
Fine so lets put up with a bold outlook and look all ferocious and Bloodthirsty.

N
listen up its better to get ragged in collg ull get to know ur seniors but if u want an escape rout

1. ware simple clothes (no bright colours for ur shirt)
2.comb ur hair neatly n give the most innocent look
3.in caseu r called claim dat ur father is a very poor man an tell dat u have come in by merit
4.pretend to be very timid
5.act this way for a week or 2 then all will be fine

X
N that’s stupid. thats a sure-fire way to get ragged. the only way every thing will be fine after 2 weeks is that every senior in the place will rag you for the first two weeks and after that they’ll probably get bored and stop.

i guess that this stupid atupidity week’s really contagious.

or stupidity week is over and its ‘be smart and get your friends beaten up by seniors week’.

N
tell me spook if u were in collg and wanted to rag a jr who wuld u choose
a funky rich guy who has an attitude or a simple guy who knows nthing

L
X wouldn’t rag a junior.
the junior would rag him

N
HA HA Wat abt u L

L
ive had my fair share of ragging
Damn seniors
Hey theres a new nick now

N
OK man no probs L

PSP
Screw the female raggers and tear the mouth of the others.

X
where the heck did u get all that from?

so which one would u choose to go to N?

N
none my mate but first u killed L so u r my friend
anyway i got it from some crap guy who forwarded it to me

X
good to know that N.lets bug him if he comes back.
hey reply to that counterstrike thing on the lounge

N
dont worry as long as i am alive i will bug L
and the avatar i got it from some arson joke page

L
hey no fair. i don’t need two losers buggin me. and unfortunately im still alive. but i come in peace (thanks to K). So X your prayers have been answered. I’m forced to get off your back.

N
Unfortunately hes got it wrong its 1 loser bugging 2 inteligentguys(X n N)

Velammalians response:

So here’s a true blue Velammalian’s responses (actually it should
be “truly black and blue”) to lucky fellow “foocher ingineers” in
SVCE and Satyabhama.
Let us deal the point with point (pardon me if the Principoll
influence is showing in my’s English)

1. The Equation Game
SVCEiite says: SVCE = (Sathyabama) x (Sathyabama)
Satyabamiite says:SVCE = ( Sathyabama(n-1)*n + e^ eta + 365*24)^(1/7)

Velamalian learns only one equation: Fine theta = (Cos theta)
^infinity, even when Sin theta is small.
Which means: Even if the sin/mistake committed is very small, lots of
cos/money will be collected as fine amount. This is the lesson that
is mercilessly thrashed into the heads of VEC students for four
years.

2. College Bus
SVCEiite says: U r not supposed to go to Bus stop before 4.10 or else
100 Rs fine
Satyabamiite: You are not supposed to come to the bus stop before
7:00 a.m, if you violate the rule and you are a guy you walk all the
way to the college.

Velamalian’s cry: Forget picha kaas like 100 rubees fine etc…VEC
always believes in squeezing maximum out of the students pants (oops,
no double meaning, I meant money in the wallet in the pant). Has
anyone heard of 10,000 rubees annual bus fees anywhere else? The
cost of 4 years bus fees in VEC will thus be about 40-45,000 for
which amount one can buy a new bike itself, and not worry about
stupid bus rules. Rules like don’t talk, don’t sing, don’t dance,
don’t-move-your-head-even-one-centimetre-towards-girls-direction etc
etc. Even here, the rules were established because Sairman saw a lot
of bus-stop & inside-bus-love-developing cinemas when he was young,
and it affected him “mendally”.

3. Absenteeism
SVCEiite: If u absent for all theory class HOD is empowered to fine
100 Rs
Satyabhamiite: Absent, utter this word to a Sathyabama guy and he
will give you the same reaction that a grad student will give you
when you say “JOBS”

Velammalian’s ordeal: If you “punk” a class, then you are marked
absent for half a day. Like that like that it will add to 3 days
leave amounting to 500 rubees fine. Also getting leave letter
sanction involves great deeds of physical stamina like running to
class teacher cabin for sign, then to HOD for sign, waiting there
endlessly as he/she finishes “more important priorities”, then to
administrative bloc which is 1/2 kilometre away, them rejecting it,
going to Principoll, Sairman etc and explaining to them that letter
is genuine, MC is from a “real doctor”, that father sigature was put
by father only and not by me, and THEN submitting to office, and
running back to class teacher and informing them, and finally back to
class, by the time which more than half a day is over, and you are
marked absent for those periods again. Thus the cyclic process
continues till you drop to your knees in despair and
squeal, “Please - I will pay the fine” Words that are music to the
Sairman’s ears!

4. Roaming Charges
SVCEiite: No gossiping around mandapam and no walking over lawns.
Satyabhamiite: Jeppiar had a lot of foresight when it comes to this.
No auditoriums, no mandapams, no trees

Velammalian’s plight: If you are seen moving in “croops”, or spotted
within 10 feet vicinity of opposite sex, the SPY in that area
jurisdiction will swoop down on you like an eagle, pick you up, and
ruthlessly drop you at the feet of the Sairman, and then telegram
will go to your house, mother will have heart attack seeing telegram
thinking some distant relative died, and parents will be called to be
warned about their ward’s “misdemeanour” and “acts leading to
character assasination”

5. Canteen
SVCEiite: Canteen Rates.. Meals: 20, Puff=6, Tea=3,Coffee= 6, Vadai =
5, Vegetable Pulav = 15, Curd Rice = 12
Satyabhamiite: No canteen, the Jeppiaar the provide the food

Velammalian’s loose motion: When you buy cellphone or some other
product, there will always be hidden charges in it. Like that in VEC
also. Canteen rates are pretty much same as in SVCE, but the canteen
is strategically positioned about 1/2 kilometre away from classrooms
(esp those on third floor!) which is 5 minutes walk on empty stomach
and 7 minutes on full stomach. And the time given for the break is 10
minutes! So that way a lady constable is placed to arrest
students “arriving late to class” after break. According to Velammal
rule book, students are expected to be in their classrooms atleast 2
minutes before class commences. So dig this:
Break Duration = 10 minutes
Duration of previous hour class extending into break = 3 minutes
Time to be back in class: 2 minutes before
Time remaining = 10 - 3 - 2 = 5 minutes

And within this time, you have to fit in…….
Travel time to canteen = 5 minutes
Return time = 7 minutes
So what about eating time, latrine time etc?

So even if VEC student wants to go to “urgent bathroom” he must keep
an empty bottle with him/her always.

6. Arrears
SVCEiite: Bring parents if u have more than 3 arrears
Satyabhamiite: Bring parents if you have more than 3 hairs on your
face

Velammalian: Bring parents if you HAVE PARENTS!!!

7. Cycle Test
SVCEiite: Periodic report cards after CAT
Sathyabama: How about having 3 arrears in these CAT’s and bring your
parents for that. How about having to pay an amount equivalent to the
exam fee as fine?

Velammalian’s lament: How about failing in cycle test&model exam, but
scoring centum in university exam, and STILL having to pay failed
fine in the NEXT semester? How’s that, huh? Huh?

8. Walkman
SVCEiite: No walkman in coll and bus
Satyabhamiite: This is probably closest you are to Sathyabama

Velammalian’s wrath: DAI DAI VAYATHERICHALE KELAPPAADHEENGADAA!!
Kazhuva kooda thanni illaadha oorule kulikka thanni kettanaam
oruthan!!!

9. Other college OD
SVCEiite: If u wanna go to other college culturals no O.D
Satyabhamiite: We are probably better in this area

Velammalian’s tears: Not only is OD not sanctioned, but one has to
additionally listen to Principoll’s enlightening discourse on how
other college culture will not match Velammal culture(!!) Non-
academic cultural posters will go directly from Princi room to
dustbin. Only students with aggregate more than 95% in all semesters
and not less than 100% attendance can go to seminars and paper
presentations. That way he will be marked absent even for OD and
fined for absenteeism.

These are only replies to comments by friends of SVCE and Satyabhama.
To talk about the infinite other atrocities in VEC will require me
typing at 100 w.p.m continuously for the rest of my life. And my
fingers are aching already. So I’ll stop here. You go back and get
ready to become a foocher injineer and a winner. Becos winners…
they do not do the things differently, they do things differently

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SVCE: Bring parents if u have more than 3 arrears

Sathyabama: Bring parents if you have more than 3 hairs on your face

SVCE: Periodic report cards after CAT

Sathyabama: How about having 3 arrears in these CAT’s and bring your
parents for that. How about having to pay an amount equivalent to
the exam fee as fine,(if you relent his, your hall ticket won’t be
issued) just because you failed these exams. How about staying
2 hrs after college hours in the happening town of Shollinganallur
for special classes, just because you failed these exams

SVCE: No walkman in coll and bus

Sathyabama: This is probably closest you are to Sathyabama

In Sathyabama, the rule says ” Don’t walk, man in
college and Buses, if spotted you will be fined”

SVCE: If u wanna go to other college culturals no O.D

Sathyabama: We are probably better in this area
We get O.D. if we goto other college culturals O.D in sathyabama
means Ofiice Duty and in dummies language it implies standing in the
hot sun for 15 to 20 days to get a glance from Babu Manoharan, I
tell you its easier to convince a gal by following her for 20 days
but not Babu

SVCE: Many more to come ……. it all happened because of greater
number of Arrear people (2nd years) in Anna Univ syllabus

Sathyabama: This is probably the saddest. You know why all these
rules were made in Sathyabama; because parents liked it. Its! a pity
that your own parents who had guarded and wished the best for you in
the 17 years of your life, had to dig your own grave by pushing you
into this place where you grow demented and your personality is
sacrificed for the needless rules and regulations

N
This is the reply by one Sathyabama student:

Forgive my English if its kinda broken, I think I am under the
influence of a strong field( just read below and you will know abt
the strength of the field )

Sathyabama is always the “ALCATRAZ” of colleges. SVCE is probably
equivalent to vellore. Here is a riposte to all your points o! f
glory. The equation you just gave now was in CMOS 0.6m, as your
roomie chakku would tell you CMOS is now in 915A

So, there is a different equation

SVCE = ( Sathyabama(n-1)*n + e^ eta + 365*24)^(1/7)

(Sathyabama is always biased in the active region, the only way! To
turn it off or get it into saturation,is by applying a seismic force)

7th root indicates the number of days in a week
Although its a six day week, the effect just stays on where n
represents the year , so this year it is n=2003, eta is a sum of a
few quadratic and bi-quadratic functions like Jeppiar’s age, Babu
Manoharan’s mood swings, the color of his trouser, Isha Kopikar’s
increasing rate, fuel prices, food costs etc etc..(the rumor is that
NSF is funding Professors to find out the various other effects
which contribute to the steep rise! of this function)

Sathyabama College Campus

FACT: Spielberg contacted Jeppiar for filming “Schindler’s List”
here but Jeppiar rejected the idea out rightly because Spielberg
violated one of the cardinal rules of Sathyabama. ” YES BEARD, NO
(HALL)TICKET ”

SVCE: U r not supposed to go to Bus stop before 4.10 or else 100 Rs
fine

SATHYABAMA: You are ! not supposed to come to the Bus stop( I mean
boarding point) before 7:00 a.m, if you violate the rule and you are
a guy you walk all the way to the college. There will be an attender
(bhench man) walking along with you to make sure you walk

The rule was established because
” Boy Coming early, Girl Coming Early, Why Boy come early and girl
early when bus come slowly? all to be Jolly”

SVCE: If u absent for all theory class HOD is empowered to fine 100
Rs

SATHYABAMA: Absent, utter this word to a Sathyabama Guy and he will
give you the same reaction that a grad student will give you when
you say “JOBS”

“The boy cutting class,
He sipping glass,
Jeppiar not the liking
he telling keep two doors
the probessor entering one
the student entering one
after student enter, outside lock door,
send food thru the window
student eating, enjoying the studying
become cood engineer
parents the happy
jeppi! ar the happy”

SVCE: No gossiping around mandapam and no walking over lawns.

SATHYBAMA: Jeppiar had a lot of foresight when it comes to this. No
auditoriums, no mandapams, no trees to stop boy gal jingle mingle

“Parents the complaining to the jeppiar
they say son getting bad by seein! g movies,
they say daughter getting spoilt,
the daughter want to be
the icewarya rai, jeppiar the saying
put them in my callege
no tree, no lawn, no jingle mingle”

SVCE: Canteen Rates.. Meals: 20, Puff=6, Tea =3,Coffee= 6, Vadai =
5,Vegetabl Pulav = 15, Curd Rice = 12

Princi has gone mad. He was like “u spend 45 Rs. For a coffee in Taj
and why not at SVCE Canteen(Illogical Right )

SATHYABAMA: SVCE, they putting the rates in the canteen

” Jeppiar the say no,
Sathyabama, the student
studying hard
parents also work hard
canteen, the boy asking
father give me 10 Rs, 15 Rs
me the eating ! in the canteen
but he the eating
no he the smoking
father sad
the gal the asking
me the eating college canteen
mother give Rs 10
the gal the eating
no, the gal buying coffee
she sipping, he sipping
then he she sipping
mother the sad
crying the jeppiar
lady crying jeppair not he happy
no canteen, the jeppiar the saying
me giving food
the Lattu, the Kulo Chhaan
the boolav, the vadai, the ice cream,
you eat, I enjoy

N
Wanted to say how life is becoming miserable in SVCE and SVCE hostel

SVCE = (Sathyabama) * (Sathyabama)

SVCE College campus

1. U r not supposed to go to Bus stop before 4.10 or else 100 Rs
fine

2. If u absent for all theory class HOD is empowered to fine 100 Rs

3. No gossiping around mandapam and no walking over lawns.

4. Canteen Rates… Meals = 20, Puff = 6, Tea = 3, Coffee = 6,
Vadai = 5, Vegetable Pulav = 15, Curd Rice = 12

Princi has gone mad. He was like “u spend 45 Rs. For a coffee in Taj
and why not at SVCE Canteen (Illogical Right)

5. Bring parents if u have more than 3 arrears

6. Periodic report cards after CAT (the mid semester local
college tests)..

7. No walkman in college and bus

8. If u want to go to other college cultural! No O.D

9. Many more to come ……. it all happened because of greater
number of Arrear people (2nd years) in Anna Univ syllabus

C
Lecturers seem to take pride in their creativity with pronouncing words…
Maths class:
Find the eek-ation of the plane…
Can you be able to do it?

Workshop:
Due to the recry-stallion of the material…
Splat the material in to 2 wholes
Take the vayd and make a tee

Chemistry:
The solu-shaaaan…

One of this guy’s famous dialogues:” You are criminals, you are commiting sin by temptation for talking.”(Thats supposed to mean ‘don’t talk’)

To be continued…

G

” You are criminals, you are commiting sin by temptation for talking.”

Love that one.
The rest are good, sept for the “Workshop” ones, which I dint get.

Whats a recry-stallion?

M
its ‘recrystallization’, stupid. what’s a ‘vayd’ though?

C
I don’t blame George, anyway vayd is wood…

I’ve got lots of them but those were the weirdest… the rest are plain incomprehensible.

N
chk this out our mech staff told me “dont lie i sawing .You running then bunking”
in class “go canteen go cinema go park go go but dont go class”(IT IS A WARNING FOR ME BECAUSE I WAS BUNKING)
ENG STAFF:”are u mad”
A GUY FROM muthucoode village from a tamil medium school:i am human not MAAD(cow)